


You Big Dum-Dum

by Dragongirl180



Category: Baseball RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Boston Red Sox, Gen, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 09:01:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19270012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragongirl180/pseuds/Dragongirl180
Summary: Nathan Eovaldi loves to talk, but how do his teammates feel about that?





	You Big Dum-Dum

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually inspired by two of my favorite tumblr accounts @thotporcello and @nateeovaldi. Go check them out, you won't regret it. They have tons of gifs of Nate just aimlessly talking to his teammates during games and they’re adorable. I just had to make a story about it.

“Hey…hEY…heeeEEeEeeEyyyy.”

 _He's starting early this time_ , Rick thought to himself.

They were barely 2 batters into the bottom of the first and Nate was already on the warpath. He wondered if ignoring him would make him go away or perhaps turn his attention to another one of their helpless teammates.

“Rick...buddy...pal...bro…”

_Don’t turn around. He’ll give up._

There was a brief period of silence before he finally let himself relax. Bad idea. Nate plopped down next to him a minute later with that trademark grin of his plastered on his face. While Rick had to admit the smile (along with his big puppy dog eyes) was cute, he could not say the same for conversation with the man. Nate was a great teammate and ever better friend, but the guy liked to talk—and talk he did.

“Sorry about that. Hard for you to hear me when I'm sitting behind you,” he laughed.

“Yeah that’s a problem,” Rick lied.

“So I realized I never finished telling you the story of how I got my first pair of crocs.”

“I think you did actually.”

“So you remember the guy in the pink van?”

“Uh...yes?”

“Wrong, the van was green!”

“My bad.”

He looked over at Chris sitting on the other side of Nate and tried to get his attention. Maybe they could lock eyes and the tall lefty would save him from this predicament. Chris did eventually notice, but all he did was smirk and give him a shrug as if to say _you're on your own_.

“Ok so there I was, my pants were covered in mud, I couldn't remember my middle name, and I only had a few pretzels in my pocket. The guy who had been hiking with me had gone to go find some berries and had left me to my own devices. Now this was totally fine until I started hearing voices up in the trees…”

_Oh my God this man is crazy._

Every single day, Nathan Freaking Eovaldi would somehow find yet another story of his to tell. This man’s memory read like a novel at some points and it was a wonder he never ran out of energy with how much he talked. Nate didn’t know just how lucky he was that Rick liked him. Any other person would’ve been shoved in a closet by now.

“Rick you still listening?”

“Yeah you were talking about the people who lived in the trees.”

“Yes! They called themselves the Bogmen and the leader's name was…”

Rick didn’t miss the sparkle in Nate’s eyes as he talked. It was rather endearing and made listening to him worth it if he got to see this man happy. He deserved it. His stories still made absolutely no sense, but that couldn't be helped.

**********

Chris looked at his phone for the 4th time in a minute and sighed out loud. When he had agreed to pick up Nate before the game, he hadn't expect him to take forever to get ready. The guy was worse than a teenage girl before prom when it came to preening.

“Christopher Allen Sale. There you are!”

He looked up and watched as Nate barreled down the steps with a giant duffel bag banging against his leg. The grin on his face made him look like a drunk fool, but Chris knew it was just a part of his bubbly personality. Once his bag was in the backseat, he sat in the passenger seat and made himself comfy.

“How are you this fine morning?” he asked.

“I'd be better if you would hurry up more. What are you even doing that makes you take so long to get ready?” Chris replied.

“Dude. Do you think I was just born with perfect hair? No. A masterpiece like this takes time my friend.”

“What hair? You're wearing a hat!” he said while lightly smacking the top his dark blue Red Sox hat for good measure.

“In the event that said hat must be removed, you will see that I won't be caught off guard with bedhead. You never know when a situation like that will arise.”

“Yeah sure, bud.”

He started driving and they sat in a comfortable silence until they reached the highway. He knew instantly that a Nate tale was coming when the younger man started fidgeting in his seat. He had a world of energy to spare and that meant he’d want talk it all out.

“You know…”

_Oh no._

“This reminds me…”

_Not another one._

“There was this day back in high school that I actually had to style my hair with nothing but pine tar and some thoroughly chewed bubblegum.”

“Oh that sounds nice.”

“Do you wanna hear about it?”

“Nate I don't think that's-”

He was cut off by an actual wimper. Before he even glanced at Nate he knew he’d find wide eyes and a quivering bottom lip in response to his answer. When he turned his head and saw just that, he softened up a bit. It was hard to say no to that face.

“Ok you can tell it, but just this one story.”

“Yay!”

**********

“Ah crap I died. Guy sniped me,” Nate said throwing his controller down.

“You should’ve healed yourself, you big dum-dum,” came Price’s reply through the mic.

“It wouldn’t have stopped him from shooting me.”

“Yeah but you could barely run. If you had stayed and healed then he wouldn't have had the slowest moving target in history to work with.”

“Well...yeah...uh...I’m not a dum-dum.”

“You eat pizza with a fork, Nate. You’re a special person at least.”

“I already told you I don't like making a mess. Not everyone can inhale whole pizzas like Sale.”

“Not make a mess? Is that why you eat hot dogs without buns?”

“What!? You don't use buns? That’s hilarious,” J-Mac interrupted with a laugh.

“It was one time!” Nate was glad they couldn’t see him blush.

“Nate I watched you down like 5 dogs at the team cookout last year. No buns in sight.”

“Yeah well at least I'm not bald.”

There was silence on the line to the point that Nate thought he had been disconnected. The only indicator that they were still on was Price’s character cutting down enemies on the screen in front of him.

“Nate if I didn’t like you, I’d shave off that mop on your head during your after practice nap. Lucky for you, I find you amusing. Even your dumbass stories about shopping for kale at Whole Foods.”

“You think they’re dumb? Well I have more stories if you want something else.”

“No no no no. Please no,” David said almost immediately.

“Wait what's wrong with stories? I’d like to hear some,” J-Mac said, not realising what he had just gotten himself into.

“If J wants a story then I’ll give him some!”

“Oh god, you’ve doomed us all!”

“So this is on the topic of bald guys actually. I was in El Dorado, Kansas for the annual Sunflower Festival back in 2016. I went alone, but I quickly made friends with a weiner dog named Agent Griggs. He could actually speak English but I was the only one who could understand him.”

He only got through about 5 minutes of his story before he heard a beep and a notification popped up on his screen. He’d been kicked from the group. The beep had actually been from his oven, his pizza was done! He quickly forgot about the game and went to cut himself a slice. When he got back to his seat, two slices on his plate and a fork in hand, he actually took a selfie with it and sent it in the pitcher group chat.

He was promptly kicked from that as well.

**********

The clubhouse was bustling with activity when Nate walked in. He had been late because he got stuck talking to the security guard outside about kinds of syrup. Time wasn’t really of the essence here though because the game didn't start for hours and he wasn’t starting anyway.

He looked around at the players are doing their own thing. Vaz, Nunez, Devers, and E-Rod were playing cards at the table, Mookie and JD were huddled in front of their lockers looking at film, and Sale, Rick, and Price were deep in a serious discussion about pitch grips. Before he turned to go join his fellow pitchers though, he zeroed in on Moreland and Chavis having a rather spirited conversation. This looked like something he could get in on.

“Hey guys, what are we talking about that’s got you two so animated?” he said as he walked up to them.

“Hey Nate. I was just telling Mike here that Mississippi BBQ is much better than anything they have down there in Georgia,” Mitch replied in his usual southern drawl.

“And I was educating Mitch on the godly taste that can only come from a rack of ribs smothered in sweet Georgian Honey BBQ sauce. Sadly I don't think he’ll ever agree unless he tried it for himself,” Chavis replied with a roll of his eyes.

“I’ve already tasted the best and it is definitely not from your neck of the woods.”

“Mitch is right. The best BBQ is definitely not in Georgia. It's in Houston. Always has been and always will.”

The two men looked up at Nate as if he had just slapped them. Chavis was so offended that he simply scoffed and excused himself. Mitch on the other hand was determined to fight for Mississippi with every fiber of his being.

“Nathan man you know I love you, but I can't accept this. Texas? The only thing they're good for is overrated football teams and fake blondes. No way they even compete with us down south.”

“Fake blondes? I have a story about that.”

“Wait what?”

Poor Mitch couldn’t even get a word in before Nate sat in Chavis’ empty seat and started talking.

“This lady had 5 birds as well as 2 pet geese named John Roth and Phil Stein so I already knew she was a bit of a loon. The thing that really got me was her hair though. It wasn’t even a good blonde color, it looked more like when you wear the same socks for a few weeks and they start turning yellow. You know what I mean, right?”

“Uhhhh….”

“Exactly. So my story actually starts when I went on a fishing trip with my uncle Steve and his daughter’s husband over in Florida...”

Across the room the three pitchers had noticed what Nate had done and were laughing about the situation. Poor Mitch probably had no idea what was going on, but it was for the best. No one really understood Nate and that was the true beauty of it all.

**********

The clubhouse was relatively quiet while batting practice was going on, making it a great place for Alex Cora to gather his thoughts before the game. When he walked through, he picked up the odd shirt or shoe and put them back in their respective lockers. Sometimes he felt like he was a father to a team of teenage baseball players rather than a big league manager.

He had been planning to just sit in a corner and expel all the negative energy and nerves he had, but that was not what God had in store for him today. It hadn't even been 5 minutes since he sat down when he started hearing a weird noise. It actually sounded like muffled screaming.

“What the hell?” he muttered as he got up.

It didn’t take him long to find the source and as he stood in front of the janitor’s closet, he was a little worried at what he would find inside. When he finally opened the door, he met a sight that he had definitely not been expecting. There on the floor was one Nathan Eovaldi who had his hands taped behind his back as well as a sock tied around his mouth. When he looked up his eyes went wide and he started bouncing up and down like he usually did when he was happy.

“I don’t get paid enough for this…” he had to shake his head.

All Nate could do in response was struggle against his bonds. When Alex bent down to take the sock off, he noticed that someone had also tied his laces together. Whoever did this did not want Nate to leave this closet.

“Thank goodness you found me. I didn’t know how long I'd be in here. I didn't even think I'd ever leave,” he said after the sock was gone.

“Nathan, who did this to you?”

“Well you see...I don't think they meant any harm...”

“They tied you up and stuffed you in a closet. Don’t protect them.”

“It was Chris...and Rick...and David, but I think he was just keeping watch. Sale was the one who did most of the taping. He's really good at it too. It’s like he's kidnapped people before. I for one think it’s impressive.”

“Nate shhhh.”

He untied the laces and got him standing before he found some scissors to cut the tape. Once he was free, Nate gave him a big hug.”

“Thanks Big C, I don't know how I could ever repay you.”

“You could start by telling me why the hell they would do that.”

“I don’t know really. They said it was a game we were playing.”

“I think it was more of a prank or a cruel joke. No matter, you can sit with me during the game. I’ll be sure to talk to them afterwards.”

“Alright coach, whatever you say.”

When Cora walked back out into the dugout he looked down to the far end where Rick and Chris were sitting next to each other. They met his eyes and he made sure to give them a very disapproving glare before going to sit down. Price was still warming in the bullpen, so he was exempt from Cora’s anger. They'd all be getting pulled into his office right after the game was over.

When Nate finally took the seat next to him, he started to wonder if this was a good idea. He had no idea where the pitcher had found a full jar of Nutella and a bag of Oreos, but here he was dipping them in the chocolate spread and stuffing them in his mouth. Alex wondered if he should allow his pitcher to eat something so unhealthy in full view of his teammates, but he decided not to bring it up. The guy had already been through enough today.

It wasn’t until the game started that Nate finally found his voice. He wiped his hands on his thighs and smeared chocolate all over his white pants. When he noticed the stains all he did was giggle.

“Ah shoot, I’m so messy sometimes. You know Alex, I have a life hack for when it comes to cleaning clothes that are dirty like this. Want to hear it?”

“Nate I gotta manage a game right now. I can’t be distracted by stories.”

He figured that was the end of it until he looked up a few minutes later and noticed tears in Nate’s eyes.

“Nate. What's wrong!?”

“I just...I just wanted to tell you the story. I just wanted to tell you some laundry facts.”

“Oh...I’m sorry. Is it a long story? I think I could spare a few minutes.”

With that it was as if the tears had magically dried up and Nate was back to bouncing in his seat, smiling as wide as he could.

“You’re gonna love this. Trust me.”

“I’m sure I will.”

“Ok so it all started 4 years ago in a bar in Columbus, Ohio. I had ordered an apple juice, but I was pretty sure the waitress had given me white grape juice…”

5 innings later, Nate was still talking up a storm. He had never explained anything about laundry, but he was currently going off on a tangent about space travel. Cora looked up briefly and caught Sale’s gaze as he and Rick walked by him. He had a smirk on his face while Rick just looked happy to not be in his position. They both had that air of ‘ _I told you so_ ’ floating around them as they passed.

He sighed. Maybe he should’ve left Nate in the closet.

**Author's Note:**

> J-Mac is the guy who hosts the Fortnite streams on twitch that I got the title of this fic from


End file.
